pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
