Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
