How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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