I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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