He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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