pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
