my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
