I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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