He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
