For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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