You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Sober January is a disaster.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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