if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
