Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
