dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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