Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
