Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
