MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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