I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
