And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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