is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
