On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
