My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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