You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
