she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
