He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
