i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
