K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
