too bad you live with your parents still
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
