shes about as inviting as chlamydia
only if we run a train.
done.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
