im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
