We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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