oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
