I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
