I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
