You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
