Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
