Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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