i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
