It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
