She announced her abortion via fbk
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
