If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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