My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
