i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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