It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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