Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
