I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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