it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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