So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
