And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
