first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
two words...techno handjob
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
