I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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