I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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