You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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