Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
